King of the Mild Frontier

 

I just finished listening to the audiobook of Chris Crutcher’s autobiography, King of the Mild Frontier and loved it. It was read by the author, and he did an awesome job. It’s probably best to have someone read his own autobiography, y’know? He reads it like he’s really telling you this story, not like he’s a professional reader doing a performance.

 

He writes about his family, about the stuff his brother made him do and the stuff he did to himself. He writes a lot about sports, including the one I was particularly interested in – swimming. He writes about anger, girls, getting started as a writer, and his work with social services. He writes about parents and kids and about the Big Questions. It was funny and sweet and made me decide that, just in case I wasn’t already sure, Chris Crutcher is a really, really cool guy.

 

He recounts several episodes of his older brother tricking him into doing/trying when they were little, and…man. There are times that I think I should call my little brother and apologize for everything I did to him when we were younger, but listening to this made me think I should call him and point out that it could have been worse. For example, the brother got Chris to run across a field while the brother shot at him with a bb gun, like at a shooting gallery. When Chris got hit, though, the brother convinced him not to tell their parents because if he does, they’ll make him go to the hospital and get it cut out.

 

“[The doctor will] put you to sleep and cut it out with a knife. A lot of guys don’t make it.”

 

Man, this is no fair. “Don’t worry,” he says. “I won’t tell.”

 

“Promise?”

 

“Yeah, well, you know, if you don’t make me.”

 

“I won’t make you. . . . How would I make you?”

 

“You know, like being a jerk, or not doin’ me favors.”

 

I promise I won’t be a jerk and I’ll do all the favors he wants if he please, oh, please not tell Jewell and Crutch I have a BB in my head, so they won’t take me to the doctor to have my head knifed open.

 

Recommend this one to fans of Chris Crutcher (obviously), anyone who liked Jack Gantos’s Hole In My Life, guys who want a laugh or need to know that it’s going to be okay.